Do my friends care about me reddit

She never makes time for me but she makes time for her other friends. Share with them about your struggles. Also, everything I said is negated if you used to be really eager to start those conversations. He said that we can still have sex but he doesn't really care. I am a mom of 2 kids ( 3 year old, and 10 months old). and any partner that cares THAT much about how you look, to the point where they nitpick your physical flaws, is not worth a single second. If they point it out, they definitely care. The issue I see is that what you perceive as caring is not what these people care about. Practically, I have a lot of friends but often I feel lonely even when I’m hanging around with them, I feel like none of them understands me, I never felt too comfortable with them to talk about how I really feel or to tell them a secret, I feel like I could disappear for months and none of them will notice and if they did they won’t care to ask about me. And today it sort of boiled over. My fiancée and I both firmly believe in the idea of chosen family. I deactivated my account for 3 weeks. Seriously. That's out of your control. But, I Always feel as the 5th wheel. I'm not sure I'd be here today without it. You might not be able to stop caring about these things over night, but you can show up for yourself to the best of your ability every day to soothe yourself and be your own best friend. I found healing when I started doing things for myself and found new friends (I'm I definitely care about my friends more than most of my family. A lot of things she does are annoying but i never tell her because when i do she gets mad and belittles me for anything. Be your own good friend first. I love her so much and it hurts so bad. 99% of the times they get bored and ghosted, which is less likely to happen in person. Were all 25 now and hes still lurking around college bars and nihgt clubs hitting on freshman (risky move, im well aware and weve tried to tell him maybe thats not the best idea) meanwhile the rest of the group goes to a pool hall every other week, and rotate whos place we're drinking at and watching a sports game. We know each other for mostly half of our lives and we have a strong relation. AskReddit, Ouija-style. We hung out a lot. For example, it was staining one day and I forgot to bring an umbrella, so I asked if I could share theirs. I realised that I do care about my friends and family, I was just more turned off at their need for constant attention. Maybe they say I love you out of habit but don't really make an effort to truly form a bond with each other. Neither friend can actually help you but for what it is worth k sucks, B is alright but sounds like she's probably going through it too. I’m afraid to lose their friendships). Heres what you do: journaling your feelings is good. It’s best to let go of what others think, especially former friends. It may be that they don’t know how to show unconditional love. He also said that he only wants to be friends with me and that he can't meet as often as he did in the beginning. It’s ok for you to part ways if it feels like the friendship isn’t genuine anymore. He will not change and you'll become more and more frustrated and bitter. They didn’t seem to care. I'm just really hurt cause I care so deeply about so many of them and it seems like they don't. Hi, this is might be kind of a weird post but this is something thats been weighing on me for a while and makes me very anxious. Friend #2 was planning on coming to the ceremony and staying at a hotel for one night with me and my bf to celebrate. Because your friend doesn't give you the "right" neurotypical signals, you feel a bit uncertain. This summer I’ve taken a lot of steps to cut off everyone in my life, would do my family too if I didn’t live with them, but I don’t want to talk to anyone in my life right now, there’s no one who I would be happy to talk too at all. Talk about your problems or issues a bit. People often grow apart, as they come to find new interests and hobbies and such. 20/80 can be okay, as long as it becomes 80/20 when it needs to. It helps. My grandparents are good people but I certainly care more about my friends. It’s easy to feel nostalgic about the good ol’ days, especially when they’re friends you e had for a while, but when you’re They act without thinking of the consequences to others, they let me down sometimes in ways I wouldn’t let my friends down and overall they can be pretty selfish. Join something like toastmasters, to improve your social skills, so you can project confidence and likability. Constant_Swimmer_875. I Funny how people with family dont realize how blessed they are to still have them and be able to hold them and tell them they love them. I think half the problem is society pushing so much constant social interaction. ”. People don't pretend to care about you, they do care about you. ADMIN MOD. but, they're not into the subject as much as I do. If he is, then everything else must be shut out. I really dislike it when I am at home and my parents care about my grades, my friends, and my hobbies like how my soccer team is doing (which I hate… trust me, absolutely no one cares how you look except maybe your partner, and even then, relationships that last will grow beyond looks. And then that’s it. We are both online and claim we feel extremely close and like we trust each other, yet when either person does something with someone else, we both get nervous/anxious or jealous. So, the moral of the story is, that even if you only have one true friend, than appreciate that one true friend. You can even start your conversation with them straightforwardly: "Hey guys, the other It’s called the art of “devaluing words/situations. To me, I take interest in my BFs interests because they’re important to him so nothing he talks about is irrelevant to me. Today four of my friends are hanging out and one of them said “I love you Nox we miss you” when my other friend was recording and the other two immediately jumped in excitement and said “WE MISS YOU NOX AND WE LOVE YOU”. It's easier to accept this. And my family didn't even do anything wrong. I got this shit in class, so I was pretty much just crying while I had to do my math work and now my teacher just looks at me sad whenever I come in the classroom. Now all my friends who left me and who I don't even remember or imagine calling me they call me just to meet me because of my position and influence in society. My “best friend” wished me a happy birthday and then continued on talking about herself. I welcomed her company, because I love my sister. So naturally, they are her top priority. I have a friend that I value alot, we shared secrets, that we mostly keep to ourselves. Like being in an abusive relationship. I just apologized, hoping that we could move on. They Never Ask How You’re Doing. It takes time. I can't hang out with my friends, and she prefers to hang out with my brother instead of me. When you come across a situation or person or words that bother you AND you don’t want to be bothered by it anymore, do the following: Elevate yourself (internally). At the age of 16, my friend murdered someone in the most horrible way imaginable. Sadly, if your friend isn't and hasn't been interested in your friendship before, he won't suddenly be. She'd usually come to me when she was lonely and had no one else to turn to for one reason or another. when someone listens and responds to you whether you say something meaningful or not can mean a lot. I'm working on my people-pleasing and codependency issues, but I think even without those issues I feel like it's an accurate assessment of my interactions with people. to summarize, me and her have been together for almost 2 years now, but lately she's just made fun of me and constantly belittling me. I,34 Female, have been part of a Friend group for ages. My friends don't care about anything I do. If you keep holding on to them and they keep mistreating you, then I'm 100% sure they're doing it for a reason. Feeling like you're an outsider is a tough thing to live with from time to time. I think you can meet good friends online, it has never happened to me, but it's only a real friendship if they live in your area and you can meet. I love my… Like the title says, I (F16) feel like my friends don't care about me. If they don't reciprocate how you'd like, then it is your responsibility to walk away from that friendship, or otherwise accept what's happening. For context, we've been friends for about 2 years at this point and have been to some amazing trip that we agree was the best vacation of our lives. But long-term, you need to talk to your friends about how you feel. accepting uncertainty. I generally like the… for me, to an extent. Be nice, be helpful, and be interesting and interested. In Dezember I told him something very personal about me and since January he has more stuff to do at work and told me he hates 9 to 5 jobs. Slowly start to distance yourself and find new ways to find new friends. But over time, what I've noticed is that this means the people who do stick around, message you first and make you feel like a part of a group are WORTH sticking around for. They just wished me a happy birthday and that’s it. i joined a new friend group 7-8 months ago during a time when they had friend issues and i came and lightened the mood. Like if you aren't available for them, but they will invite do something next time, chances are they are your good friends. Maybe it’s just me whose completely toxic and I can’t see the signs. Assigning emotions and motivations to others is part of being codependent. There's a difference between "not caring about you" as in "be here, or don't, whatever you feel like, i have no strong preferences" and "not caring about you" as in "oh god not this guy again". You just have to remind yourself of who those I’m a 20f and I’ve been hanging out with a group of girls since around 14. I am not really a social person. Fuck my aunts and uncles, but they shouldn't affect the way I see their kids. Rule 1: no one is forced to care about you. Problem is, when I open my mouth (which I don’t do often since I am pretty quiet), she doesn’t seem interested, she often cuts me off mid conversation and when I tell her « please don’t cut me off » she’ll say « No you interrupted me » which usually signifies the end of the conversation because I don’t want to start arguments with That is, until I found out that a lot of the people who I thought were my friends really just need me in my life for certain reasons and nothing more. In my first year I got close to this one girl. they are happy that I'm passionate and would suggest contests for me if they see one. You are worth caring about. Believe me, many people go through this and it becomes easier for them when they do not sink to the bottom of their depression alone. They serve their mutual purpose and once no longer useful/fulfilling for both friends, they end. People definitely don't care as much as you do. I'm left out of activities all the time. but that part of me that is still me knows that i It would be empty. As I said, don't talk to him, let him make the first step, and if he doesn't thenthat's not your friend at all. I always follow up with friends, even days after, to make sure they feel better. It takes years of practice but once you master it, prepare to be nearly invincible. Reply. It’s possible that your parents don’t understand what you’re doing. ) I'm pointing in the direction you need to go all by yourself. BF doesn’t care about my interests. When you ask them "how are you", they ask "how are you in reply". Your mental illness wants you to pretend not to care about yourself or anyone else. •. I think my best friend doesn’t care about me anymore, at least not like she used to. ago. but when they aren’t in front of other people they treat me differently. and as a survival mechanism i think my brain is just telling me not to care. Hoping that things will go well with you and your family. He said to me that he has no feelings for me and he has never had feelings for a girl. Going deeper is better (gradually) disclosure is also important, you need to 'show up and let yourself be seen'. It´s better to have one true friend, than a lot of garbage friends that don´t even care about you. Friendships don't stay forever just because you put a label on them. Being curious about people is a really good life skill. She'd call me more, act so happy and fun and loving. Not feeling like you fit in with ONE group. Thank the person (in your mind) for their friendship and move on. However, I have been asked how much I like my friends. If what he is doing makes you uncomfortable, he will need to decide whether keeping that relationship with his ex is worth making you uncomfortable. I like going out with people sometimes (once a month or so) to empty my social battery. If one of my friends went through it I would like them to tell me. I (21F) had a friend (21M) who was part of a friend group that started when we were all 14. Then don't worry about making people happy. I assume telling your friends to all fuck off is not your game plan, nor in your best interest, so take care how you approach them about things like this. Asshole. I got a one response so she asked me; did u deactivate your account, i said yes and she didn’t reply or asked me why. Your friends likely still care about you, but they may not care about the games you run for whatever reasons they might have. wisermonkey. I feel like none of my friends genuinely like me; that I'm merely tolerated and that my presence only matters when convenient. Yes. Quite awkward and weird to be honest. Rolten. Put yourself at number one. It hurts to let people go, but it hurts worse to hold onto people who aren't right for you. 2. They may have so much respect for what you’re doing that they may think you are in better shape than you are. Life happened and we drifted apart, but I'll always be grateful for that. I always feel like I put way more effort and care into my relationships than the other person does. My mental illness wanted me to isolate and never tell anyone about them. Usually I work 2 days from 8am-5pm, and two other days And like part of me is jealous that I didn’t get an invite, but moreso this proves that they do actually ask people to hang out, and actively don’t want me me. But don't take it personally if she's not interested, like I said. I think the only reason they said happy birthday to me is only because my Snapchat icon had a birthday theme to it. She got together with “Andy” (17m) almost a year ago. It's something that I've learned to accept. • 10 yr. They make a sign that says they don’t care about you. By the way, I also used to cry every night as a teen. For example, I almost always skip Care about yourself, first. My generation and my house hold anyway. 4. Codependency, like depression, is a liar. So I had a small friend group during college. My friends don't care about anything that I do. Yesterday i felt like ranting, so i sent to my "best" online friend some rant messages, but then i remembered how he was and deleted them right when he got online, and he only saw the message about me saying that lately everything is becoming a pain, and he just sent "?" i said "Nothing" and he just left without asking if im even okay, while It's true and I know it. Having a trusted friend that you can confide with would be great too. They always forget about me when… None of that happened. In Text. My husband never makes the effort to come up with an idea about what to get me. My advice is ask him if he is serious about a future with you. GIGN003. And hold it up while saying that they don’t care. Give yourself time. When we were younger, they used to make fun of me besause of that, and UPDATE: well this took a turn real soon, 7 of them organized a zoom call and sat with me to console me and encouraged me regardless of the decision :((( i love them so much and thank you to everyone in the replies for cheering me up In my case, I only have one best friend that lives far away from me but we speak on the phone about everything almost every day, she’s very like me, and we both share the same feelings about a social life, we both struggle with social issues, it’s difficult but you just have to learn to live with that, Especially when you get older, I am 31 My friends don't care about me I (M19) have felt it for a while that the group of friends who I dearly care for don't consider me a real friend. I come home. I would do anything for my friends, don't get me wrong. I see them more get along with them better and have more fun with them. meeting new people. You'll automatically stop worrying about it and begin thinking about what makes you happy. He then said to me that he was busy and therefore has not texted me. They can’t even remember my birthday and I've Lucky for you, you’re learning early to recognize the signs of when a friend is truly a friend or not. It's been so difficult for our friends to come to terms with what happened, and after 5 years from the incident I finally People really like to talk about themselves. I'm the 'funny down to earth' one of the group, I make jokes to lighten the mood and keep everyone in high spirits, I hype people up when they draw or do anything, I Give them advice when they need it and listen to them rant for hours. In some cases they may make a flag with a red background that says the same thing. It was later revealed that he was a psychopath. I can't do it anymore I hate myself. Every text notification or snapchat or anything I get makes me sad. lately, i've noticed that people who listen to me every single day truly care about me, even if they aren't an affectionate friend. Definitely focus on yourself. edited 5/22/21 !!!! i wish this one friend would care about me. i think the only reason they want me in this group is to make them laugh. You can't make someone interested in you, sometimes people drift apart and it's no one's fault. This all crescendoed when every one of them were at a party celebrating a mutual friend’s upcoming graduation and I didn’t even know anything was happening. So I just tell him what I want. This is a sign. I’m a lot older than you but if you want to vent to me about it, I’ll be happy to listen. The best way to find out is to ask. I feel like none of my friends actually like me. Really do keep doing it, I went through a really dark time a few years ago, closest (by a wide margin) I've ever come to doing something drastic, and my friend had mailed me a rickroll. She's my best friend but I'm clearly not hers. like they cant do I’ve always been worried that the friendships I make are one sided. Give her a little space and see if she comes to you and if she doesn't approach you then she is uninterested. I truly consider them my best friends but up until recently, I’ve just… 761K subscribers in the AskOuija community. They do what you allow. I'm also afraid that in a bit more than a year after we graduated we won't stay in touch. I just need some advices. So when I told her about my birthday party, she said she would only come early and leave before the cake to go 139K subscribers in the friendship community. Quality friends matter in life, not quantity. You need a therapist. My friends at work threw me a party and suprised me with a cake and gifts specifically selected for me. But instead, he went on an entire rant about how he hates how much I complain, and how much I am around him. Invite them places! initiate hangouts and start conversations, be with them if they really are your friends AND!!!! stop blaming your own loneliness and self esteem on them. If they forget to ask on the odd occasion, maybe they have a Even if they don't care about you, you're more concerned about feeling bad that you don't care about them. I am awkward even with them, especially since we rarely get to see each other. 3. Seriously, you have to talk to your friends about your needs more, and complain about them a lot less. For all things friendship! If you're after friendship advice or feeling lonely and need someone to chat… When the wave of sadness hit, I distant my self from my friends, i overthink stuff about them. so it's more like they might not care or into my passion that much, but they do care about me, which I'm grateful. I have a lots of issues like trusts, abandonned and stuff like that and they know it. One of the two friends in particular (24f) who is often described as “the nice girl who gets along with everyone” already had a group of best friends that she hangs out with almost everyday. If they don't make you feel valued, then put your feelings before theirs. That kind of watered down because… Turns out her group of friends are purposely doing it so that she would opt out of the circle. But they just don’t seem to care. All of them are unemployed, still living with their families, so not really too busy When me 14M and my friends are at school and they see my talk to a girl they are like “bro she wants you” and stuff like that but the truth is i feel like having a girl is the last thing i want, i dont have the mental or social capacity to keep a girl happy in a relationship. To do anything less is to be part of the problem. Life can be tough; we all experience difficult obstacles at some point in our lives and to overcome… Yeah, I've had the same issue. I wish you the best and I hope you can find peace with this situation soon. I have severe social anxiety and my friends know that. I mean, I know everyone's busy and whatnot, but Jesus, they do not care, not even a tiny bit. I care more about my friends than family. as soon as her messages become about her problems all I want to do is just turn my phone off and go to sleep - that whatever happens happens. Rule 2: if you want people to care about you, care about them first. Good for you for doing that. I feel lonely and sad even when among them. I've had issues opening up to my friends about my mental health problems for the longest time bc I wasn't sure how they'd react. I feel horrible. Also, volunteer. I thought that. I know Leo and his house, and Criz and her house, and Lili and hers, and probably Marcos if I bothered asking, would have my back and love me I have friends that do almost exactly as you do when it comes to keeping in touch. I love them. I'm not being selfish, i just don't know if i could handle that again. I stream, I take pics, I make stuff, they don't give a single shit about it. Everyone needs alone time, some more than others. Unfortunately yes. Years before, he tried to give me money so I can go and just get what I want myself. A friend who cares will want to know every detail about your life and what’s going on with you. For like a year we met up almost every week. Anyways, I’m beginning to think they really don’t care about me. So I'd suggest just to experiment a little and see what works and what doesn't. Sounds like you may not have a strong connection with your family. We have been friends for over 6 years and we know everything about each other. Your online friends don't care about you. I’m curious, are you supposed to be interested in your SO’s interests or are there some things you don’t share bc you know they’re not into them. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! I think my husband doesn't care about me. Think of it as quiet-quitting for a friendship🤣. It colors the way you see the world and distorts reality. It doesn't need to be 50% to be fair. I know for a fact that the two people I view as my closest friends don’t care about me nearly as much as I do them. I have 3 solutions in my head: Leave them for good. I am studying ( trying to get a nursing degree), and I am working ( 20-32 hours a week). That same weekend friend #2 posted photos of just her and friend #1 enjoying the weekend together. With me, it feels like they "care" when I mention it, but they don't care enough to make sure I'm good even outside of that. I’m sorry you had a bad day. Maybe it’s my karma because I tried to be loyal to who I thought cared about me. But they don't feel the same way about me. They were reluctant to do so and eventually still agreed, but took the umbrella away when I Asking for help is the strongest thing you can do. Maybe I’m burning my own bridges unintentionally. I have already been in a few relationships and its a waste of time. I have been friends with them for a while, and i feel like i do a lot for them. And, if I were a betting man, have no idea how to express this, nor give you the kind of feedback you actually need to improve - that's not an easy skill to obtain, after all, and this is a hobby notorious for attracting Normally, I’m actually fine with helping my friends or those in need, but whenever I need their help, they always decline or find excuses. All of these things can be quite difficult and take deliberate effort for someone on the spectrum. don’t get me wrong, this friend is awesome. Reply reply. I have been the "add-on" since the beginning. If your friends never ask how you are, what’s going on in your life, or how your day was, it’s a pretty good sign they don’t care about you. Or that they think they don’t have to especially now. Step 1: Treat people how they treat you, if someone doesn’t prioritise your plans when they get a better offer example, just do the same back to that person. what did i do wrong? I can't handle it. Then when she was done with me, she'd act like she didn't know me. A lot of times you will know when they are your real friends. About 3 years? And I think we both have issues with trust. But I realized that my friends care about me more than I think. My other friends don’t even care. 1. Maybe when I was putting my energy into them, they took the time to put their energy into elsewhere and leave me there. Why would anyone care about me, stop. It's not as a strong relationship as friends you share in the real world. Same situation here, my best friend for about that long to never really grew up. A lot of people suffer through it alone and those around them have no idea. accepting that despite the gap, there is no malice between you all. Unfortunately the term 'friend' is now used interchangeably with the term 'acquaintance', probably because of excessive Sensor influence in the world (an 'acquaintance' is a 'friend' to a Sensor and all 'friends' are 'acquaintances' as well to them). She would shower me with gifts. The thing that's really upset me is that none of my friends texted me during that time. Then they'll assume that you starting a conversation is Hey guys. We have formed a powerful bond with my friend, and, even if I would have more friends, they would just make me more miserable. (My point is people will try to associate with you once you achieve big. i refused and told me to make 85K subscribers in the depression_help community. How much I care them but I just don't emotionally bond with people. It's literally the meanest thing anyone could do. Going back a few more months to May of this year. do you have deeper conversations or mainly stick to the superficial. It is tough, but it’s not hopeless. Sit with them and share your thoughts and feelings. Let me explain further: I've been really sick with an unknown health condition the last four months (nothing contagious, but big internal issues) - I'm almost 80% better now thankfully, but Talk to your parents again and be honest about how you feel. Me (21F) and my friend (21F) have been friends for a good bit of time now. If the answer is yes, he is not the one. Couldn't give two fucks about my friends and even family. Anna and Andy have always been good friends and obviously had a thing for each other, but never acted on it. Massive hugs to you, kiddo. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Yes, they might not care as much as you do, equally they might not really understand how you're feeling or what would help you. I came in late, and because of that I've always been seen as an outsider. r/INTP. Every now and then I notice someone pointing me out to their friends or I overhear someone talking about my height. Because if people are interested they will let you know it. Background info: me (17f) and “Anna” (17f) have been best friends for 5 years. I often get remarks about it, sometimes strangers simply remark on it (mainly in clubs). I graduated college with two bachelor’s degrees. . The only person you have control over is yourself; your emotions, reactions, motivations. Realizing this difference and seeing how it played out in my life was one of the greatest When you start a conversation about yourself, they join in and follow along. I (17 F) feel like I’m beginning to sound too ranty on this sub (I’ve made several posts about my friends (also 17~18) here, and I feel guilty, but it’s not like I can say these things to them. Act different, stay a bit quiet, zone out. I feel you want friends so you may fill a void in your time and you'd like people to care because you take similar steps to care for them. After all, it's all about experiences. Don't let your "friends" take away your joy. I don't care about my friends. pk wl hh cg zc py mx ky op ar